Types of Feelings (Am I Normal)
Dealing with divorce can be extremely difficult, traumatizing, and overwhelming for everyone involved. Even if it is expected, unexpected, a recent divorce, or one where some time has passed since the divorce. It is normal to have different feelings and emotions surrounding a divorce. The divorce can be similar to grieving the passing of someone close to you. You are grieving the loss of your parents’ relationship, how your family functioned, and the changes you are going through.
What are some common emotions and feelings I may feel after the divorce?
- Shock or Surprise that your parents have decided to divorce
- Sadness
- Denial about your parents getting a divorce
- Anger that may be directed at your parents or at the situation
- Guilt about the divorce and you may feel like it is your fault
- Worry about changes or what your life may be like after the divorce
- Fear about changes or feelings of losing a parent
- Embarrassed
- Loneliness because you may feel no one understands what you are going through
- Lack of feeling or emotions
- Relieved that there is less tension at home
- Anxious about how things will go with each parent and how they will deal with the changes ahead
- Even happiness that your parents are doing what’s best for them
What can I do to make dealing with divorce easier?
- Do not worry about the future. Talk to your parents about your concerns, especially if you are worried about changes brought on by divorce.
- Keep normalcy by continuing to live your life. Divorce can make it seem like you need to put your life on hold, but normalcy is important. Do what you love to do, hang out with friends, play sports, and stay involved with school. Lean on friends, family members, or trusted adults.
- Stay neutral. Staying neutral and not taking sides will help when spending time with each parent. It will also allow you to have open communication with each of them.
- Try to have a positive outlook. Divorces can happen because parents are not happy together anymore. This may result in you seeing your parents being happier apart. You may also get to spend more time with each parent individually and learn to cope with tough circumstances and become stronger, which will help you later in life.
